Peranan Ayah dalam Rumah Tangga dan Anak

Assalamuallaikum,

Bismillah.



"Memuncak peluh dalam balutan baju yang usang, terpapar beban dalam fisik dan fikir, sungguh bebannya berat di hadapan, namun ialah makhluk yang memang tercipta untuk menahan beban yang sangat terhadap keluarga,.. Ayah"

Luqman

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Mungkin dulu ada yang pernah mengira bahwa peranan ayah tidak terlalu penting, itulah yang dikatakan dari psychology today, namun pada kenyataan dan adanya riset mengenai hal ini bisa dikatakan bahwa peranan ayah memang cukup penting yang di lihat dari pihak barat. 

begini ceritanya 

As recently as as the 1970s, psychologists and parenting experts had a ready answer to the question of how much fathers contributed to children's development: Not much.

Admittedly, science journalist Paul Raeburn writes in his new book, Do Fathers Matter?, researchers at the time had little data to prove the value of fathers—but that was because few had taken the time to look into it. "When we bother to look for the father's impact, we find it—always," Yale psychiatrist and fatherhood research pioneer Kyle Pruett told Raeburn. Ignoring dads, Pruett says, produced a field of research with "staggering blind spots."

Today we know better. The body of work that psychologists, biologists, sociologists, and neuroscientists have begun to produce on fatherhood is "one of the most important developments in the study of children and families," Raeburn believes, even though many findings have yet to receive wide attention.

As for his own family, Raeburn, a father of five, writes, "I'm glad to know my involvement is a good thing. But that's not why I spend time with my kids. I do it because I like it."

Following are seven discoveries about paternal influence Raeburn shares in his book, covering life from conception through adulthood:

At Conception: A Battle in the Womb

Harvard University biologist David Haig has detected that some "imprinted" genes—those that can be identified as coming from the male or female parent—compete for resources within the womb. Some paternal genes push the fetus to extract as much nourishment and energy from the mother as possible, even to the detriment of her health, while some maternal genes seek to deliver the fetus only as much as it needs. Haig's explanation is that "maternal genes have a substantial interest in the mother's well-being and survival," while "paternal genes favor greater allocation of maternal time and effort to their particular child."

In Pregnancy: The Power of Presence

During a woman's pregnancy, there would appear to be little a father could do to affect the child. A recent University of South Florida study shows that's not the case. Infants whose fathers were absent during pregnancy were more likely to be born prematurely or with lower birth weights than those whose fathers were present. Such babies were also four times more likely to die within their first year. Even in mothers, complications of pregnancy that would seem to have no connection to male involvement, including anemia and high blood pressure, were more common when fathers were absent.

At Birth: Men Deliver Relief

Old sitcoms showing fathers anxiously pacing in waiting rooms while their wives delivered their children were no exaggeration: From the 1930s, when most U.S. births had moved from the home to the hospital, until the late 1960s, when more men had successfully agitated to gain a place by their wives' bedsides, delivery was a women-and-professionals only affair, to the apparent detriment of everyone involved. As more men took their place in the maternity ward, women reported feeling less pain, and requests for pain medicationdeclined. Mothers were even less likely to cry. What's more, men present for their children's birth report being more attached to their infants and more involved in their care. Letting dads in, Raeburn writes, "pays off in ways no one anticipated."

Postpartum: An Underreported Risk

How can we gauge the importance of paternal companionship in a child's early months? In part by observing what happens when infants are deprived of it. One in 10 men experience some form of postpartum depression, Raeburn reports, limiting their ability to emotionally connect with their babies. Children of fathers with major episodes of postpartum depression appear to be eight times as likely as others to have behavior problems as they grow and 36 times as likely to have difficulty getting along with peers.

Toddlerhood: Dads as Bullyproofers

University of Oxford researchers visiting families beginning in babies' first year found that when fathers maintained a remote relationship with their infants, those children later had higher rates of aggressive behavior, no matter how their mothers had interacted with them. In a related meta-analysis of 24 studies of paternal involvement, Swedish researchers found that kids whose fathers helped care for them, played with them, and took them on outings had fewer behavioral problems in early childhood and a lower likelihood of delinquency as adolescents.

Early Childhood: Look Who Gets You Talking

In at least one aspect of childhood—acquiring language—fathers simply matter more than mothers. For example, researchers studying parental roles in language development among poor, rural children found that a father's use of vocabulary when reading to kids at six months of age predicted their expressiveness at 15 months and their use of advanced language at age three—regardless of the mother's educational level or how she spoke to the children. The hypothesis: Since mothers spend more time with children, they're more likely to use words with which kids are most familiar, while fathers, less attuned to their children's linguistic comfort zone, introduce a wider vocabulary.

The Teen Years: The Scent of a Father

For years, evolutionary biologists have puzzled over why girls with absent or departed fathers tend to reach sexual maturation earlier and have higher rates of teen pregnancy. Bruce Ellis of the University of Arizona studied families with divorced parents, and daughters who were at least five years apart, in which the older daughter would have had several more early years of "exposure" to a present father. He found that the younger sisters had their first periods about 11 months earlier than their older siblings did. Psychologist Sarah Hill of Texas Christian University told Raeburn that she believes a father's absence delivers girls a subconscious cue about "the mating system they are born into": Men will not stick around, so they need to find mates quickly. Their genes then effectively push the girls into early puberty. (This effect is more pronounced in families in which the absent fathers had not been a positive presence while in the home.) What's the source of this phenomenon? Ellis believes it could be a father's scent. In animal experiments, there is evidence that sustained exposure to a father's pheromones can slow down puberty, although that hypothesis remains largely untested in humans.


Jadi Seberapa penting peran ayah : 

In Shaa Allah Sangat Penting 

Ayah,.. Berubahlah !!!

Assalamuallaikum, 

Bismillah

Perlahan terlihat dari kutipan ayat dibaca pelan dan penuh hikmat dalam kesendirian, mencari makna dari hidup dan keluarga yang akan di pimpin olehnya, dan tak terasa usia yang di jalani olehnya sudah mencapai sepertiga dari abad yang fana ini. namun tak kunjung lelah ia belajar dari Al Quran dan Al hadits untuk memperbaiki masa lampau yang hitam dan kini berbenah dalam visinya membentuk keluarga peradaban islam. 

-luqman alghifari hakim-

-14 12 2015-

penggalan syair dari resapan hati sang ayah memupuk keinginan yang dalam membangun peradaban keluarganya yang di mantabkan dengan merubah diri dan terus memperdalam keilmuan terutama ilmu islam.  

Ayah adalah peranan yang sangat penting di dalam keluarga, hal ini tidak dapat dipungkiri bila di lihat secara organisasi, bila dikatakan keluarga adalah sebuah sekolah maka ayah adalah kepala sekolah yang merancang dan memberikan arahan bagi para guru di sekolahnya, namun apabila peran ini hanya berfungsi dari sisi finansial bukan dari sisi arahan, kebijakan dan keputusan maka bisa dikatakan sekolah yang akan dibentuk tidak mempunyai konsep yang terarah bagi keluarga. 

Sekilas pendidikan umar bin abdul aziz :sumber 

Abdul Aziz, ayahanda Umar memilih Shalih bin Kaisan sebagai pendidik anaknya, Shalih pun mendidiknya dengan baik. Shalih mengharuskan Umar shalat lima waktu berjamaah di masjid. Suatu hari Umar tertinggal dari shalat berjamaah, maka Shalih bin Kaisan pun bertanya, “Apa yang menyibukkanmu?” Umar menjawab, “Pelayanku menyisir rambutku.” Shalih berkata, “Sedemikian besar perhatianmu terhadap menyisir rambut, sampai-sampai kamu tertinggal shalat.” Lalu Shalih menyampaikan hal itu kepada ayah Umar bin Abdul Aziz, maka ayahnya mengutus seseorang dan langsung mencukur rambutnya tanpa bertanya apa-apa lagi.

Bila kita melihat bagaimana keputusan dari sang ayah umar bin abdul aziz bagi anaknya sungguh kita lihat keputusan tersebut adalah cara tegas beliau dalam mengawal sang anak. hal inilah yang membuat kita harus memutuskan dengan cara apa kita akan membentuk seorang anak. 

catatan : umar bin abdul aziz sudah berumur lebih dari 6 (enam) tahun dalam masa pendidikan.

Namun jangan jadikan ketegasan mu dalam mengarahkan hanya membentuk jiwa anak mu kerdil, tegas tidak sama dengan marah. perlakukan anakmu sesuai usia dan tahapan perkembangan yang di ajarkan oleh nabi dan para sahabat.

Semangat perbaikan 

Luqman Alghifari Hakim

14 12 2015

Tauhid dalam Genggaman Sang Anak

Assallamuallaikum,

Bismillah 

"Beruntai kata dalam menasihati sang buah hati, bertata dalam memperbaiki adab, mengucap doa dalam kalbu meniti kasih dalam belaian kasih sayang illahi Rabbi " 

- Luqman Alghifari Hakim -

Sebuah nasihat halus yang dilontarkan Luqman kepada sang buah hati, dalam mengingatkan jati dirinya yang menghamba kepada illah rabbi, merupakan nasihat yang terdalam memuncakkan nilai tauhid dalam diri sang buah hati. 

Gestur terdalam sang luqman bila di imaji secara cermat, menasehat bukanlah dengan gestur "saling berdiri" namun saling duduk beradu lutut dalam halaqah kecil dan mengatakan untaian kata kata yang menjernihkan sanubari dalam menghapus ketidaktauhidan dari sang buah hati,. 

Menutur sirah dari sahabat "assabiquunaawwalun" ialah bernama "Ammar bin Yassir" memperlihatkan bagaimana iman yang dipakai dalam sanubarinya , diinjak, dicela, di putus paksa, namun keteguhan sang sahabat ini memberikan untaian doa bagi sang sahabat. 

hal ini lah yang bisa di teguhkan dalam keimanan sang anak kita, Ammar bin yassir adalah salah satu sahabat yang menggenggam iman dengan sangat kencang

jadilah orang tua yang bersandar dengan penuh tauhid dan adab dalam membentuk anak dimasa depan 

Luqman
11 12 2015

Anakmu Sesuai dengan Pendidikanmu Ayah

Assalamuallaikum,

Bismillah

Seorang anak dalam pengukuhan pengasuhan dari sebuah keluarga adalah bentuk awal dimana sang anak dapat mengenali sebuah sistem terkecil dari sebuah sistem kehidupan, hal ini lah yang kemudian kita dapati bahwa adanya proses duplikasi dari kegiatan sang orang tua dan anak.

Proses duplikasi ini bila di perhatikan dapat terukur dari masa anak usia 0 bulan bahkan sudah dapat mendengar suara, baik itu suara yang lembut atau keras. proses transisi duplikasi bisa terjadi apabila semua komponen panca indera sudah dalam kondisi yang baik, dan itu bisa dimulai dalam waktu 3/4 bulan.

hai orang tua terutama ayah, berikan sebuah peran yang sanggup bagi sebuah anak dapat menduplikasi kebaikan dari dirimu, hilangkan sebuah peran negative bila itu tidak bisa tahanlah dan serulah istighfar dalam penjajakanmu terhadap anak-mu. bila terlihat peran seorang ibu tidak dapat membuat sebuah perubahan peran ayahlah yang dapat membuat sebuah peran yang tak terlekan bagi perkembangan sang buah hati.

Ingatlah bagaimana peran sang Luqman yang tertuang dalam surat QS : Luqman : 12-18 dikisahkan dan dimuat dalam sebuah surat, sungguh apa yang dilakukan oleh Luqman merupakan contoh kasih sayang dalam menasihati sang buah hati yang sudah terlanjur berbeda dengan agama sang ayah, namun Luqman penuh kasih sayang dalam mencurahkan nasihat yang sungguh bersabar dan mengingatkan bagaimana Luqman menasihati.

berbeda dengan Luqman namun penuh ke tauhidan dalam sebuah sirah di Alquran yaitu Bapaknya para Nabi, ialah Ibrahim a.s, Bila mencrita sebuah kisah / sirah maka tak diragu bahwa kisah Nabi Ibrahim adalah kisah keyakinan atas perintah Allah.

sungguh Allah mencintai keduanya.

Semoga kita bisa memberikan warna yang jelas bagi anak kita dalam memilih sebuah peran Ayah bagi anak kita.

Wallahu alam bis Shawab

Luqman
08 12 2015